From: Yogani
Date: Sun Jan 11, 2004 4:21pm

Q: I tried this out, the mantra kinda turns, for me, into something less sharp in my mind, something mores like AHHHHH MMMMMMM…and seems to work naturally with the in-breath and out-breath…without making it that way intentionally. Sometimes it gets meanings attached to it too.

This is a curious experiment for me. I am not new to mantra meditations, having done several kinds of meditation for many years. I never did experience much. I’m told this lack of experience is attributed to “bad karmas.” Your comments would be welcome.

A: It is okay for the mantra to change, lengthen, shorten, etc, if it does so naturally during meditation. If meanings get attached to it, that is okay too. We just easily favor the procedure. We always easily come back to the original I AM. But there is a trick to that, mentioned in the lessons. You may be very settled and the mantra may be a very unclear pronunciation, very fuzzy. We will know that is it, and that is what we come back to, not forcing a clear pronunciation when it is naturally fuzzy. It is the easiest level to come back to, because that is where our attention left off. So we are starting a deeper cycle coming back to it that way, coming back to where it is, instead of trying to force it to a clear pronunciation.

Remember, losing the mantra again and again is the game. We can’t make ourselves lose it. It goes by itself. This is the mind’s natural ability to become still. We just keep creating the right condition with the procedure for using the mantra. The mind does the rest. At first, the experience of a quieting mind and nervous system may be subtle — a little silence, some peaceful feelings, some relaxation. We take that into activity with us after meditation. Gradually it can become profound feelings of deep bliss in meditation. This is pure bliss consciousness taking up residence in our nervous system. And this goes with us into activity too. This is the path.

On the breathing, if you find the mantra going with the breath, just favor the procedure for using the mantra. Don’t push the breath awareness out or hang onto it. Treat it just the same as thoughts that come up. As was covered in detail in previous lessons, trying to have the attention on both mantra and breath divides the mind, and takes away from the effectiveness of simple meditation. If it comes, okay, but it is not to be done deliberately as dual practice. It is not the approach in these lessons.

Maybe some of the other advanced yoga practices, in addition to meditation, will help open things up for you. All karma will dissolve eventually. No effective practice you do to enter the infinite is lost. You obviously have strong bhakti, or why meditate all these years? The curtain shall part, and what you find in there will be good. In time, your divine inside will be blossoming outside.

The guru is in you.